Why we suck.

Zombies will turn out to be the scourge of our generation. I know it seems a little farfetched, but mark my words….It’s gonna’ happen, and when it does you will be happy you were/ are prepared.

Let me start at the beginning…

I work in a cubicle. It’s a sad existence. My forefathers, if they were somehow reanimated and not of the somnambulist sort, would firmly bitch slap me hard enough to loosen a couple teeth and cause momentary blindness for what I, and consequently our entire generation, has become. Let’s face it; left to our own devices, we suck. We are soft and pudgy and stagnant. We are sports fans and couch potatoes and an all together listless lot. We have nothing to chase, we have no reason for exertion, and we have no motivation for heroics. We are primed for our own destruction. We are, effectively, perfectly little shrink wrapped meat sacks, hobbling around staring at our cell phones, waiting our turn in the evolutionary lunch line to be placed on a tray and handed to another species as an afternoon snack.

Take it in, it’s gonna’ hurt. The truth always does. Look down. Do you see fat? I’ll bet you do. You may even be in your very own cubicle right now, and God forbid if you are reading this off of your smart phone. That very same God will be shaking his head and tisking as you march through his gates after your pathetic and sorry existence has been cut short by being devoured one bite at a time by zombies.

I refuse to be that guy. I see the sallow look of the people around me, wandering through the cubes with that thousand yard stare. Pale skin, sunken eyes, mouth half open. Moaning something incomprehensible about no cream for the coffee, or the location of their lost stapler. It’s just a matter of time before they become the walking dead, and the rest of us become their happy meals. Not me though, I’m reclaiming my manhood.

I’m preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, and so are a small but stalwart group of believers. Hopefully, so are you. This Blog is the chronicle of men who are reclaiming their manhood and doing it by preparing to kill zombies.

This blog may save your life.